Saturday, August 6, 2016

Marlin's First Appointment

With Syren's support, Marlin made her first appointment with the same psychologist Quinn recently started seeing.  As promised, Syren has escorted Marlin for her first appointment.  She is sitting in the reception area while Marlin has been taken into the psychologist's office and asked to have a seat.


Marlin (to herself):  Those are some nice sayings.  I wonder if those are mantras I'll need to repeat, like for positive reinforcement.  Nice office too, but so simple.  Oh!  And this sofa is nice.  I wonder if I'll need to lie back on it.  I hope that's just a clich√©.

Marlin sits down, wondering what she and the psychiatrist will talk about.  After a few minutes, the door opens and in walks the psychiatrist, a tall beautiful woman with big curly hair. She smiles as she walks over to Marlin to introduce herself.
 
Yulie:  Hello, I'm Dr. Yulie McNeil.  It's nice to meet you, Marlin.
Marlin:  Hello.  It's nice to meet you too.  You're beautiful!
Yulie:  Thank you.  That's very kind of you.  How are you today?
Marlin:  I'm okay.  Just a little nervous. 
Yulie:  You don't have to be nervous with me.  There is no judgment here and you cannot say anything wrong.  So, I'll have a seat and we'll talk. 

Yulie has a seat.

Yulie:  Marlin, I have some questions I'd like to ask you which will be helpful in understanding how I can best help you.  I want you to know first how this works.  My specialty in relationship, but that does not mean I can repair them or make them happen.  I can only help you identify what you would like to do or what may work for you personally and provide some support and exercises to help you decide if you have changes to make and how to make those changes.  You will have to be open to feedback and discussion regarding your behaviors in order for you to see results.  Does that work for you?
Marlin:  Yes, I know I need help.  My friend, Syren, helped me realize I need it, which proves I'm open to listening.  I do hope you can help me.
Yulie:  Good.  I will certainly do my best. Let's start by your telling me about yourself and why you're here.  What are you hoping to get out of meeting with me?

Marlin:  Well, I want to find a good man, get married and have children.  I feel like there must be something wrong with me because I just haven't found the right man yet.  I mean, I thought I had just found someone again lately, but he ended our relationship on the second date.  I had asked him out.  He's a nice guy, good looking and even has his own business.  I think I could have made him happy. I thought things were good, but I guess not.  Anyway, I thought it could work, but it didn't.  I was very upset when he broke up with me.  I just need help on what to do. 
Yulie:  I just want to be clear on a couple of things.  You want to get married, which is absolutely okay for you to want, but you don't have a prospective husband, but are looking for one. Correct?
Marlin:  Yes.
Yulie:  You also dated someone twice and believe it was a break up on the second date, correct?
Marlin:  Yes.

 Yulie:  Marlin, I have some ideas about a direction for you to take, but it will take a while to get there and we'll really need to talk about your expectations.  For example, you seem to believe that dating is the same as being in a relationship.  While I have heard of people who have married within two weeks of knowing each other or couples who have arranged marriages based on their culture, I don't know that making that assumption will work on most cases.  So balancing your expectations with what most men may expect will be important.  Men are hunters by nature, they do like to set the tone.  We'll get into that a little more.  I would like to know why marriage is so important to you.


Marlin:  My mother always told me that it's important to learn to be a good wife and to get married and take care of my husband. I guess she never said anything about children, but I also think that comes with marriage.  I mean, my mother married my father and they had me.  It's what other married people do. 

Yulie:  Marlin, tell me a little more about your mother and her telling you to get married.  Do you feel she was just teaching you how to be a wife someday or do you feel as though she as insisting that you have to get married.
Marlin:  Oh, she definitely insisted and still does.  She asks me all the time why I'm taking so long and if I'm not making an effort.  I keep telling her I'm trying.  She wasn't too happy when I ruined my chances with Parker.
Yulie:  Is Parker the gentleman you just told me about who no longer wanted to purse a relationship after the second date.
Marlin:  During the date and yes.  That's him.

 Yulie:  Did you tell Parker you'd like to get married and if so, when?
Marlin:  Yes, I told him and I let him know I'd like to have children.  I told him on our first date so he'd know I was open and ready.
Yulie:  I see.  Marlin, from what I'm hearing, we may need to work on your ability to stop focusing on marriage and start focusing on yourself.  Many men tend to be drawn to women who are strong alone and women who let them lead the chase.  It can be scary if a woman seems desperate. I'm not saying you should not let a man know what you'd like eventually.  You should not waste your time if you are not both going in the same direction.  However, timing is everything.  That is something we can work on, as well as the pressure from your mother and finding ways to channel your energy toward yourself.
Marlin:  Okay?

Yulie:  As you may have noticed, I have posted positive statements on my wall.  They are statements I have written, not very profound, just simple, yet important.  Being in a relationship means you are sharing who you are with someone else.  But you are sharing, not letting go of who you are.  That's attractive.  Needing someone to the point that you are willing to be only a limited person can be considered unattractive.  I have all three of these affirmations which my receptionist will give you.  I give them to all my clients.  I want you to review them daily, give them thought and act on them whenever you can.  Do you think you can do that?

Marlin: Yes, I have read them and I like them.  I think I can start with those.  I just have to get them in my head.
Yulie:  You will be able to do that, but also get them into your heart and your behaviors.  We have several things to review and discuss, but these things take time.  So as we move along in sessions, if you would like to continue meeting with me, we can work on things bit by bit.  Are you okay with that?
Marlin:  Yes, absolutely.  I feel like just having this conversation is helping. 
Yulie:  I'm glad you have found our conversation helpful.  Our time today has come to an end, but I would like you to make your next two appointments with my assistant.  We'll pick up where we left off today.
Marlin:  Okay.  Thank you.

Yulie stands up and so does Marlin.

Yulie:  Marlin, you should be proud of yourself in taking this first step.  While I cannot promise you a wedding, I can promise I have the right tools with which to provide you so you can start working on yourself for a possible relationship in the future.
Marlin:  I'm happy with that.  Thank you so much.

Yulie takes Marlin to her assistant's desk and asks her to make appointments.  Marlin does so and then she and Syren, who can hardly wait to see how things went, leave Dr. McNeil's office.

Thanks for stopping by. ~ Jaye

14 comments:

  1. Yulie is a great counselor! I love the dialogue between she and Marlin. i hope her advice helps her. I love the positive sayings and her office as well!

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    1. Thanks, Georgia Girl. I think Marlin is starting to listen. She had better if she's paying money for help.

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  2. Marlin is so sweet, I hope Yulie can help her. Nice storyline.

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    1. Thanks, Chris. Yulie charges a lot of money, so she had better be good at what she does.

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  3. Very nice counselling session! Yulie gave Marlin some very good advice.

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    1. Thank you, Phyllis. Yulie is good at what she does.

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  4. Really seems like Marlin's mom should be visiting the psychologist as well.

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    1. Yes, I think so too, Muff. She is pushing Marlin too much.

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  5. It's good to see Marlin taking steps to help herself by going to the therapist, but she still has a long way to go.

    I also agree with Muff; Marlin's mom has really messed the poor girl up, and all the pressure she's been putting on her to get married isn't helping at all. She really doesn't have her daughter's best interests in mind.

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    1. Hi, Champagne Star. I agree with you. Marlin still has a long way to go, but it takes a while to help someone change. Her mother is something else, isn't she?

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  6. Marlin's mother is making Marlin into a needy woman. No wonder guys a fleeing from her. It's time for Marlin to turn a deaf ear and learn to live her own life- with or without a man. She needs to know herself first. I like her doc's advice. Great story!! Blessings

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    1. Thanks, Brenova. It's sometimes hard for children to see what their parents are doing to them, even when they are grown. Hopefully Yulie can help Marlin to move forward.

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  7. It took a whole month for things to settle down at work, and now that they have I had to come back and read this story. Great counseling session. I feel good about the direction in which things are going.

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    1. Thanks, Jewell. I hope Marlin continues in the right direction. At least she has sought some help. It's a step.

      I hope work stays manageable for you.

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